Altanta Residents Upset that Falcons Weren’t Picked to Move

Falcons2
Typical Game Day at the Georgia Dome

Atlanta, GA – Atlanta residents took to social media this week to express their outrage that the Falcons didn’t leave for Los Angeles reports local media.  Earlier this week, NFL owners granted the Rams permission to move to Los Angeles for the 2017 football season, sparking anger from both St. Louis and Atlanta football fans alike.

“I don’t think it’s fair that the Falcons weren’t even considered for the move,” complained local Falcons fan Kwami Jones.  “All we heard about was the Chargers, the Rams, and the Raiders.  The Falcons are every bit as sorry as those three teams, and we have a fraction of the fan support of any of them!”  Jones went on to add, “The Falcons have their best roster ever, and still have to pipe in artificial crowd noise.”  The Falcons are forfeiting a draft pick this year for the referenced infraction.

Local resident Melissa Mitchell lamented, “With the Falcons here, there’s almost no chance of actually luring a decent team here.  I mean, it’s not fair.  Bad enough we have to live in this hellhole, but to have the Falcons stinking up the place also is too much for anyone to take.”

Falcons team members were similarly disappointed.  “I could have been living on the beach year round,” said breakout running back Devonta Freeman.  “But now I’m stuck in place that smells like used diapers and trench-foot on good days.”

“I wish I was dead,” declared quarterback Matt Ryan, who is stuck in Atlanta until 2019 barring am unlikely trade.

All is not lost for Atlanta residents.  There is now talk about San Antonio possibly taking a team in the next few years.  When asked about it, San Antonio resident Marco Ramirez said, “We would love an NFL team.  We’d welcome them with open arms – except the Falcons.  If they try to push that dumpster fire on us, we will literally burn down the city and salt the ashes.”

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